Monday, June 4, 2012

Reflections.....

So, I had my garage sale this weekend.  I have to say that I am surprised at what went and what didn't.  For instance, my husband's wet suit that was almost 20 years old sold for $40!  What?!  Talk about needing the right buyer at the right time!  But, my kitchen table?  Only about 3 people even asked about it - doesn't everyone pretty much need tables?  And this is not some freaky, weirdo table, it's a pretty nice wood one.  So, it's going on Craiglist.  


I guess it really is true, One man's trash really is another man's treasure.  I am not done purging my house yet.  I will be going to the resale shop with a load of clothes this week to see what they will give me for them.  This was another strange thing, my neighbor put a bunch of clothes from her daughter out that went pretty fast but when I added my boys clothes to the mix?  I got nothing.  Out of probably 100 pieces of clothing, I sold 2 t-shirts and 3 pairs of pants.  Really?  (Eye Roll)


I have to say that when I was going through my little guys clothes, I was surprised at how hard it was for me to let go.  I do want to make a quilt for each of them eventually with clothes that they wore a lot or really liked when they were little.  I imagine it will be a nice hand-me-down gift for their first children, so I was keeping that in mind.  But I had my first, true blue, time is flying by moment as a Mom.  I do not know where the past 2 years have gone.  And, it wasn't easy, it was HARD.  Being a Mom is HARD, yes with a capital H.  It isn't just the not sleeping, it isn't just the stinky diapers that you would never think could be made by such a little adorable baby, and it isn't just the lack of available time to do anything - like shower.  It is ripping your heart out and giving it to another human being.  It is losing yourself and not even realizing it.  It is being trusted to take care of a miracle everyday.  People so often think of miracles when they see babies, of course it is evident when they have just emerged from another person's body, but what about when they are two, or even better, when they are 15?  


My little guys arrived after a very, very long struggle and I looked at them this weekend and I worry that I am short changing them.  I worry that I don't hug them enough.  That they don't eat enough vegetables.  That I am not showing them to be kind more, to be curious ( oh boy! ), and to love with abandon.  I want them to be respectful, but I don't want them to bow to anyone.  I want them to keep the determination that often drives me crazy.  I want them to be friends, to always have each other.  I want them to know how to treat a girl.  They really are the embodiment of all of your hopes and dreams.  How is it possible that this is only just occurring to me?  You, reading this?  You are your Mother and Father's miracle.  They put every hope and dream that they ever had in your hands the moment that you were born.  That's a heavy weight on your shoulders?  So, I am going to start living as a miracle today.  I want to be miracle worthy.  Just like I want my children to be miracle worthy.  I have another cliche - Today is a gift, that is why they call it the present.  


I hope you do something miracle worthy today!  Feel free to let me know!  I would LOVE to hear about it.  As a matter of fact, maybe I will do that.....for one year I will do something miracle worthy everyday.....and I pledge to post them (maybe in groups) for all of you to see.   I can assume that my thinking on what is miracle worthy will change from day to day, but what a great thing to strive for, right?  


Enjoy your day!